Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I got this from Dark Roasted Blend. Enjoy.

Children writing about the sea:

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.(Millie age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they have been better off eating beans.(William age 7)

8) - I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't
go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

13) - On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her fat ass. (Julie age 7)

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Super FRIENDS

This one speaks for itself. This is safe for work.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

He Lives!

I sent this pic to my folks today as proof that the dog is still alive. I hope they get the humor. ;)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Predictive text and the Four-Letter-Word

Ever wonder how predictive text handles curse words? Here are the people responsible.

This is classic British humor. Enjoy. (NSFW due to language.)

Friday, January 25, 2008

This has nothing to do with Florida

So this was on MadTV the other night and I found it funny. It is classic Bob Newhart. Enjoy.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

From one Bay Area to another


sf
Originally uploaded by Kemp Mullaney.


stpete
Originally uploaded by Kemp Mullaney.
Since both cities consider themselves to be in the 'Bay Area,' they both start with 'Saint' (or 'San')and they are both on peninsulas, I thought that a little comparison was in order for those of you unfamiliar with either St. Petersburg or San Francisco, so here is the quick guide to separating the two.

Residents
SF - Hippies and Ultra Liberals
St. Pete - Retirees and Rednecks

Sports
SF - Sharks, Giants and 49ers
St. Pete - Devil Rays, Lightning and Buccaneers

Food
SF - Everything
St. Pete - Everything fried

Weather
SF - Wet and cold
St. Pete - Wet and hot

More to come - Today I take my folks to the airport and begin MY vacation.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Day One with the Devil Dog


Devil Dog
Originally uploaded by Kemp Mullaney.
As some of you know I am on a three week vacation in Sunny Florida. It turns out my folks were heading on a three week cruise to South America and we agreed it would be a nice break for me to come house / dog sit while they are gone. Well today is Day One with Winston, the Devil Dog. Seen here with his eyes a blaze with Hell Fire, he and I will either be best friends before this is over or mortal enemies.

The only rule my parents have is that the dog be alive when they get home. What about me? If you come home to find him feeding on my carcass, would that be okay? Their answer, 'Yes.'

This should be a fun trip. Expect updates from Florida over the next few weeks.

Sub Commander

Friday, January 18, 2008

Sweet Curry of Mine

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Strength of the Virtual

3 actors and a bunch of CGI folks put this together. It is the opening scene from Saving Private Ryan done with THREE ACTORS! Very impressive.

The Disintigrator

Mom tells me my uncle was a ace when it came to killing flies with a rubber band gun. Imagine what he could have done with this.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Great Physical Comedy!

Been Gone, Now I am back

A new post. NSFW, but funny. It is for Wonderbra so there is no nudity, but this is worth a watch.