Freeze! You have the right to remain sexy!

lawnandordervalentines
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Nothing says Happy Valenites Day like the cast from Law and Order. Click here to buy a set of 10 Law and Order Valentine cards with lines like:

In the criminal justice system you're considered especially gorgeous.

and

I'm on your tail.

Thanks again to Boing Boing.

God is a DJ

scratchnspin
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Check out this video that shows how God spends his free time scratchin! This is a fun advert for DJ eqipment and is completely work safe.

Thanks to Boing Boing.

Sleepless in...HELL!

Once again, the guys at tomato patch have been messing with movie trailers to create hilarity. Click here to see Sleepless in Seattle - a thriller about a man and his son stalked by Meg Ryan.

Party SF Style!

iPod me all night long
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

The snow is falling in the mountains and we are planning a ski trip some time in the near future. Just thinking about it got me excited so I went to look at old pics and that is where I found this beauty. We rented a cabin in Heavenly last year and this was the scene each night - four iPods and one speaker stand. Colletively we had 90% of all the music ever made and still, a certain ass-slapping someone, was never happy.

"This sucks, change it!"

"Whose music is this? I want to hear something different."

"Does anyeone have any ABBA?"

All of a sudden I am not so excited about this trip. Does anyone else want to go skiing with me?

I think this year we are expecting at least five, if not six iPods to be in attendance. We may be geeks, but we are geeks with good music.

Esquire tells me what to do and how to think

As many of you know, your Sub Commander turned thirty a couple of weeks ago. Though I do not feel different, Esquire magazine feels that this moment requires some changes. Here are a few things you cannot do, after you turn thirty.

1. See any movie with elves, mutants, wookies, or other non-human characters on opening night.
2. Figure out which dirty words are spelled by phone number.
3. High five in a business situation.
4. Travel to attend a Phish concert.
5. Have any furniture that involves cinder blocks.
6. Google ex-girlfriends.

Item 1, Check.
Item 2, Check (I memorized them)
Item 3, I disagree. The high five is an under-used sign of celebration. Just don't miss after you are 30.
Item 4, Again I disagree, but then, who ever said Esquire had good taste in music.
Item 5, Check
Item 6, I will reserve my right to Google whomever I choose.

The rest can be found in a book Esquire is selling here.

ants

ants
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

This is my father's favorite Christmas present - An Ant Farm. He bought it for himself.

Run Forest, run!

America's Most Wanted
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

You may remember my post back in July regarding the police officer from the Village People getting arrested on drug and gun charges. Well, today he missed his court hearing and is on the run. And to add insult to injury, America's Most Wanted had a film crew there and will be featuring him some time in February.

Just to give you an idea of this guy's past....

- He was due in court after he was pulled over on July 11 and was found to be in possession of 3.23 grams of cocaine and a loaded .45-gauge, semi-automatic handgun.

- He was also found guilty in a 2003 incident in which he was found in possession of 4 grams of cocaine.

- And all of this was in violation of his probation from a conviction in 1990 of drug possession.

- Willis was acquitted of rape in 1993.

Read more at SFGate.com.

Practice at home!

Practice at home!
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

In order to help proctology students avoid social avoidance when inviting people over to 'help with their homework' this company has created a dummy to fill the roll.

Read more at Gizmodo.

Man jailed for not killing woman

This is a direct quote from Boing Boing...

Man jailed for not killing woman
In the UK, a depressed woman wanted to die. She gave her friend £20,000 to hire a hitman to kill her. Her friend kept the money for himself instead. She called the cops on him, and now he is serving a 15-month sentence for "deception." Link

I couldn't have said it any better.

Touch my monkey!

blowmonkey
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

The image alone is sparking a joke overload in my brain.

This is a nail polish dryer. Touch the banana button to activate a fan that blows air over your nails from the monkey's mouth. To quote GIZMODO,

"Don't get me started—stroke his banana and it turns him on? "

[Insert your own joke here]

Quote of the day

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart;
and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
-Churchill

One last video

Dog in freefall - completely work safe.

unKempt, now with VIDEO!

Oh Google, how I love thee, let me count the wayz....

Google Video (beta) now lets me include the hottest web videos on my blog. To commemorate this important event, you can now view crazy frog right here. That's right, Europe's best selling ringtone, is now here on the sub. Enjoy. (This is safe for work - I think. You can see the frog's thingy, but it is small and not obscene, at least not to me.)

Internet usage

How do you use the Internet? This video requires sound, user discretion is advised. (if you have an office door, close it before viewing.)

Admitting your problem is half the battle!

Look out for me!

52805883_770f161058
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Here is a sign warning people not to hit their heads on it. If there were no sign, would people have to be warned about it? This sign must be self-aware.

Read and see more pictures here.

Get the island vacation that you NEVER wanted!

DSC_0131.JPG
Originally uploaded by _catch12234.

After a week of playing "Hide the Troll," I am back from my holiday vacation. It is tough working again after over a week of fun and little to no responsibility so to ease the pain, here is a story of a guy who has it worse than us.

After begin refused more wine, a drunken passenger on Monarch Airlines became very abusive. So much so, that the pilot landed the plane on an island off the coast of Western Africa and left the passenger and his luggage on the tarmac.

That will make you think twice about ordering that third cocktail the next time you fly!

Read more at BBC.