Troll Patrol, part II

It was sad to see that my parents' stone troll had been removed from his place in the pool to a new location just outside of the pool.

I promptly put him back in the pool. :-)

SNL has outdone themselves

This is the funniest thing I have seen on SNL in a while. A mock rap video about going to see the Chronicles of Narnia. Just a quick sample lyric -

"Roll up to the theater,
Ticket buyin is our handle
You can call us Aaron Burr
From the way we're dropping Hamiltons"

Have fun guys -

The Chronic of Narnia

His nose made him an easy target

reindeer
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

It was a sad day when the hunters caught Rudolph. Follow the link below to more strange (and even more disturbing) holiday light displays.

Weird holiday light displays

Why hasn't Kemp updated his blog?

Santa Run 018
Originally uploaded by garvex.

Sorry for the delay kids, but I have been busy with the end of year coming up and my blog got a little stagnant. Fear not - I will have a couple more entries this week and then I am back to Florida to see the folks. That means more postings about pool trolls, Winston and dog, and the crazy things families do.

Have a Cheery Christmas, Happy Holidays, Chappy Chaunukka, Krazy Kwanza and all that jazz....I do not want to make Bill O'Reilly mad.

Table defense!

tabledefense
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Home defense is a tricky subject. Not everyone feels comfortable with a gun in the house and a taser just does not have the same effect (plus how many of you would be tempted to test it on a household pet/significant other/yourself?)

In walks designer James McAdam with the Safe Bedside table. The top becomes a shield and the leg a bat to help you fend off would-be assailants or your neighborhood dragon.

Read more at Gizmodo.

Adult Knitting

3a_1.JPG
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

I never understood knitting cozeys for toasters and other household goods, but this one makes sense. If the product is best used when warm, why not keep it wrapped in its own yarn 'outfit.'

Check you this auction on EBAY for a cozy for your 'marrital aid.'

WARNING - one size does NOT fit all.

Thank you to Boing Boing.

I want my soda!

Holiday.Inn_0017
Originally uploaded by the-O-ster.

Damn, when a Michigan cops wants a soda, listen to them!

Two officers were driving on partol when one demanded that they stop for a soda (though I bet he actually demanded a "pop"). What ensued is almost unbelievable. Ronald, demanding they stop for a soda from the passenger seat, started to grab the wheel from Prema while she was driving. After he was unable to take control of the car from her, he used his TASER on her leg.

Great, now we have cop on cop violence to worry about.

He was fired and she is most likely suing.

Read more at SFGate.com.

Multi-tasking

Urinals
Originally uploaded by raindog61.

I AM NOT ALONE! Even the Brits are seeing this sort of bad bathroom behaviour across the pond. This article in the Guardian recounts how one writer has witnessed people using the bathroom (or 'Loo' or 'Gents' as he calls it) to do more than just your normal restroom activities. Read the article to learn more.

Have we all lost our minds? What happened to the bathroom? It was a place I could go for five minutes where no one would bother me. It was alone time. It was quiet. It was my sanctuary.

Got any bathroom atrocities you would like to share? Post them here.

Thank you to textually.org.

Cellphone hysteria

RAZR keypad
Originally uploaded by taminator.

For the last six years I have worked in the cellular/mobile space. In that time I have seen and heard some amazing things. While at one of the largest carriers in the US I noticed that everyone was on their cell phone ALL OF THE TIME. This included some moments that I considered failrly inappropriate.

One day I entered the bathroom. The normal peace you expect in the restroom was interrupted with what I could only describe as a man pleading for his life.

"Please, I didn't mean it. C'mon, you know me."

Soon it was clear - This mystery man was trying to save his relationship.

"C'mon baby, you know I love you. You know how much you mean to me."

I was at a loss. This relationship meant so much to this man, that he was pleading with his girlfriend while sitting on the pooper. At first I was distraught - not at the drama unfolding in the bathroom, but more so about what my next move would be. Do I flush? These were toilets that serviced a large office building, and they flushed with the vigor of a small plane engine. This would certainly be heard by his pissed girlfriend on the other end of the phone. Soon reality took over and I realized that if this bozo thought he could have a private conversation in the bathroom of a large office building, he was fooling himself. If she didn't know where he was, she deserved to, and I had business to take care of, so I flushed. And for good measure, thought it was not required, I flushed again before leaving.

I do not know how his call ended, but I have been sure never to take my cell phone into the bathroom.

I guess that is why the following story came as no surprise -

A student in the Ukraine was trapped in the toliet for two hours after reaching in to rescue his dropped cell phone. People, the lesson is clear - cell phones and bathrooms do not mix!

Thanks to Engadget.com.

You Cheeky Monkey!

You Cheeky Monkey!
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

What do you see in the picture to the right? GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! Click on the image and you will see you are actually looking at a close-up of a teenager's face.

Galumpia is a British site of close-ups that tend to make the mind wander to the erotic, when they are really just innocent pictures of people, animals and celebrities. (Hmm, I guess technically all celebrities are people and all people are animals, so I could just reduce that to "pictures of animals.") The site, though iut is design to look like a porn site, is safe for work.

Thanks to Boing Boing.

EBAY EVERYTHING!

EBAY has had some pretty interesting auctions in the past. There was a town in California, the house that included a bride and every shape or form of almost anything you could imagine that had any vauge reference to Jesus or Mary on it.

Now, they have gone one step further - You can buy your own Adult Movie Studio. The package includes everything you need to make adult movies (sans the 'adults') and includes a little black book of contacts in the adult industry. Anyone got $100,000? I am thinking about a career change - Sub-themed porn!

Read more at Gizmodo.com.

Clark Grizwold - the DJ

Take one part Clark Grizwold (from Christmas vacation) one part DJ and one part geek and you get this - A house lit to techno Christmas music. Check it out!

Wizard of Winter

Thanks to Daniel!

Chinese Swimming Rules

Click Here
Originally uploaded by Sockeyed.

Here are some rules when swimming in China.

1. Wine empress is with the body not well cannot bottom sea swimming.
2. Not take the water top the provisionsfor security cannot next sea swimming.
3. Have no the adult the child that look after with the old man prohibition against the next sea swimming.
4. After 8 PM to the next day 9 hour prohibition against bottom sea swimming.
5. Swimming must obey the lifeguard, the management at specify the district inside the swimming.
6. The weather is abnormal, sea the wave is big and flowing rapidly, sea swimming of prohibition against the bottom.
7. Please keep in mind the public notice of the that very day doorway if can descned the sea swimming.

Opposite Day!

Atheist 11
Originally uploaded by Planet Pixel.

Gabbi just made me laugh. She sent out two edited movie trailers that position The Shining as a feel good hit and Big as psycho thriller. Take a look and have a great Friday.

The Shining

Big

Beer Belly!

rounder1
Originally uploaded by per afernalia.

Stop paying a premium for beer at concerts and sporting events! The Beer Belly is just like a CamelBak, but you wear it in the front and instead of carrying water, you use it for alcohol! It is even desinged to pass the 'frisk' test.

Combine this one with a Stadium Pal and you are your own self contained drinking machine! Pack-out everything you pack-in!

Thanks to Engadget.

Yarn of Dead!

do something!
Originally uploaded by cakeyvoice.

Got time? Got yarn? Got an (unhealthy) obsession with Shaun of the Dead? Then you too can create yarn minatures of all the characters and sell them on eBay. Fun.

You gotta love Boing Boing.