I am on Boing Boing!

Ha ha. I am cool. I am on Boing Boing HERE.

Boing Boing

BoingedBoinged
Originally uploaded by tj scenes.

You may have noticed that I feature articles I take from other sites. One of my favorites is Boing Boing. In no way do I want my two faithful readers to stop coming here for their unKempt news. I love you guys. Still, I feel that I owe some credit here and if you like the posts that feature a 'Thanks to Boing Boing' a the end, you should go to this site and check it out. The news is pretty geeky and I try to pull only the posts I like (and hence believe that you will like) and filter out the stuff that is too techy.

Then again, I am doing all the work of reading and posting on these sites so you could call me your personal news service. I should start charging.

Cultural differences

More Condom Packaging
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

I just thought this one was funny. At times, the cultural differences between Japan and the US are staggering. Since I have been in marketing since I started my professional career, I love to see how the same product is promoted differently around the world. Think about it - would Trojan sell more condoms if they featured Transformers on the packaging?

Read more at this NOT SAFE FOR WORK site, Demon Baby, and as always, thanks to Boing Boing.

Stuck on BART

Stuck on BART
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Total time - 1 hour 25 minutes. And I still have three stops to go.

UPDATE Total trip time was 1 hour 55 minutes, and that included two transfers. It turns out a man was 'hit' by a BART train at the San Leandro stop. Though officials are not saying he jumped in front of the train, witnesses are saying he intended to be hit.

Quote from our train engineer:

"Well the coroner is done and once they get the train re-coupled and wash crew cleans up the tracks we will restore full service."

Not a good day to be on the wash crew.

Read more at SFGate.com.

TIME SUCK

This site will make you less productive - You have been warned. Here is a free sample.

Hobo: I'll bet you think I spent all my money on crack and alchohol.
Guy: Probably.
Hobo: Well, you're right. But I've learned my lesson. Now I want to spend your money on crack and alchohol.

Real conversations overheard in NYC. Check it out - Overheard in New York.

Punky Brewster

Punky Brewster
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Punky Brewster had a baby. This is news today. Yay.

Read more at SFGate.com

Come to our wedding, get arrested!

Handcuffs
Originally uploaded by Baloumba.

As guests stepped from their cars bearing gifts for the couple about to be wed, they were arrested by governement agents in a sting operation worthy of a movie script.

"Unbeknown to the attendees, many of whom came from China for the occasion, the supposed bride and groom were FBI agents. The government said Monday that the pair had spent four years investigating a sophisticated racketeering enterprise suspected of smuggling into the United States vast quantities of black-market cigarettes, high-tech weapons, Ecstasy, counterfeit Viagra and virtually undetectable counterfeit $100 bills."

The couple to be wed, were both undercover agents and they used their false wedding as a way to get as many members of the crime syndicate as they could on American soil.

"They were literally being taken out of their limos and into custody," one Justice Department official said. "Some of them were bearing gifts — expensive ones like Rolex watches."

Read more here. Thanks to Boing Boing."

Muni Operational Guidelines

Muni in West Portal
Originally uploaded by Zauberwelt.

For the non-SF readers out there, MUNI is our bus and light rail system. The light rail is like a small train that has some portion of its tracks underground. Delays are common and most people seem to have the same experience - a play-by-play, inch-by-inch commentary from their MUNI driver. Here is one of the best...

“There is a delay for inbound and outbound trains. We are going to pause now. I’m opening the doors so that anyone who does not want to wait through the delay can get off the train. You can catch the F train on Market street one block down if you don’t feel like waiting. But if you do feel like waiting, then that’s okay too.”

“Okay, I see a train moving. We’re going to move up a little.”

[pause]

“We do have one train in front of us. Then we can move up closer. I am waiting for the trains to move. Okay….we’re still waiting. We should be moving in a couple of minutes….if not, we’ll still delay.”

[pause]

“Ooooh, okay, this one is moving, we’re next in line. Okaydoooo, uh.”

[pause]

“Well it was too good to be true.”

And this thing keeps going! Keep read here...YouCannotForceMeToBlog. Thanks to SFist.

Only in San Francisco

The phrase is (over)used here often. Men in ass-less chaps waking down the street? Only in San Francisco. Twenty zombies descend on the high-end shopping district, Union Square? Only in San Francisco. Two adult video/book stores on the same street are hit by run-away vehicles within 18 months of one another? Well, that one may have only happened here.

Straight from SFist -

"A dump truck carrying 20 tons of dirt lost control and ran into an "adult video arcade" on Sixth and Mission in San Francisco at about 9 a.m. this morning, narrowly missing three patrons (getting an early start on the day there, guys!). Store clerk Jersey Dog said one patron was pinned against the wall but he and the other two patrons were otherwise okay. Interestingly, about a year and a half ago, the adult bookstore across the street was also hit by a runaway vehicle (a 14 Mission bus)."

I love the way these guys write. Read more at SFist.com and at SFGate.com.

SF vs. The South

42 car
Originally uploaded by NASCAR News.

Before I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area, people in North Carolina had a lot of questions, comments and warnings.

Does everyone there eat avocado and sprouts on everything?

Are you a hippie?

Everyone there eats sushi! You know that is raw fish!

Are you gay?

I heard you can smoke pot on the streets there!

I think you have to join a commune to live there.

I was excited to escape the narrow-minded stereotypes and enter a liberal, urban environment, until the folks in the Bay Area started asking their questions.

Do you like NASCAR?

Do you eat grits?

Where is your accent?

Why do people listen to country music?

Are those redneck jokes true?

What does moonshine taste like?

Do you know how to line dance?

Is your sister also your aunt?

In the end, I learned that idiocy is a national epidemic.

Touched

Touched
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Oh Kansas! First there was the law that Creationism MUST be taught next to evolution, and now you are teaching Intelligent design. Did you not expect controversy?

Now there is a new movement - Pastafarianism: the Flying Spaghetti Monster cult. Here are a few facts from the Wikipedia entry:

Beliefs:
- The Universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster.
- All evidence pointing towards evolution was put in place by His Noodly Appendage.
- Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s.

Codes of conduct:
- Prayers are ended with the word RAmen rather than Amen.

Benefits of conversion:
- Like the great noodles they worship, Flying Spaghetti Monsterists have flimsy moral standards.
- Promise of a stripper factory and a beer volcano in Heaven.

Of course, this sect could not exist without controversy. A rival faction has evolved. SPAMation (Spaghetti & Pulsar Activating Meatballs), is calling for a Holy War against the Flying Spaghetti Monster and is claiming that they have the One True Letter to the Kansas School Board.

Thanks to Boing Boing.

But what will the cockroaches read?

2003_0523_230302AA
Originally uploaded by GrumpyPants.

We all know that cockroaches and twinkies will be the only things left after a nuclear holocaust, but what will the bugs read? It turns out the answer it porn.

Fabiano Ximene dug around through some Australian dumps to find that porn magazines with their glossy, waxy finish lasted much longer than other periodicals, wood and other garbage.

There is also a bunch of other stuff in the article about greenhouse gases, recyclable materials and stuff, but once they stopped talking about porn, I stopped reading.

Here is the article.

Thanks to Boing Boing.

Make fiction a reality

Successful relocation
Originally uploaded by Avant Game.

Ever notice the parallels between Orwell's 1984 and our current situation? Well Jane McGonigal and The Ministry of Reshelving did and they have decided to do something about it. From the official rules players are to go to their local bookstore and relocate all copies of 1984 from fiction to a more appropriate section like Current Affairs, New Non-Fiction, History, etc. Place cards are to be left in the Fiction section announcing that the Ministry of Reshelving has moved the book you are looking for to its appropriate location.

They have already hit SF, Berkeley, and Palo Alto. Who is next?

Thanks to Boing Boing.

Subtle

Subtle
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

This is a little late, but it was too good to let pass. BART (the Bay Area Rapid Transit train that I take daily) has launched a new campaign to build rider awareness of potential terrorist activities in the wake of the London bombings. The delicately phrased posters tell users to be watchful for suspicious activity and report it. They have a brochure to help identify what they consider suspicious.

Visible signs of nervousness

Video taping/taking pictures

Excessive sweating

Clenched hands

Strange chemical odor

Inappropriate clothing that is excessively baggy or too heavy in warm weather

Talking to themselves

Because I usually in a deep meditative state on BART (yes you can snore when you meditate) I cannot participate in the watch group, but I can say that in the 16 months that I have been riding BART regularly, I have seen each of these behaviors (and I am sure I saw one person doing at least five of them at once!)

Thanks to SFIST.com

When the lights go down on the city...

Photo_08
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

As the Pretenders played on the Internet Juke Box, these two cowboys went at it with a good ol' fashioned ARM RASTLING CONTEST! YEE HAW!

Actually this was round two, the left-handed challenge. Look at the facial expressions and guess who won three out of three. Let me give you a hint - Calm and cool strength beats screaming and yelling any day.

The South with rise again!

Sometimes I miss home - not one place in particular, but the South in general. When I do, I turn to one of my favorite videos.

Click here to watch.

After viewing it, I shudder, cry a bit and then work even harder to make sure I stay in SF.

Golden Brown and Delicious!

owie
Originally uploaded by Brandie Naked.

Two sunbathers on a beach...

"What's that smell?"
"I don't know."
"It is coming from you!"
"Oh my God, I'm burning!"

Need a helping hand when it comes to sunbathing? Get the Tan-Timer Bikini from New Look: the only bikini to include a 15 minute timer to remind you when to flip. Lather on the baby oil and fry!

Read more at Sydney Morning Herald.

I'm still alive!

Sorry for the erratic posting schedule. My spare time has been dedicated to another hobby recently, but do not fear. I will keep the unKempt hilarity rolling as often as I can. Meanwhile, enjoy these classics.

Darth Tater - Revenge of the Spud

Two-Year Anniversary

Where should we hide our drugs?

Sidewalk

Ocean Cowboys

Coast Guard
Originally uploaded by randomlyhumming.

We took the Blue & Gold ferry back to SF after riding our bikes to Saulsalito on Sunday. The tourists were thick as evidenced by the accents and plethora of international brands being worn.

At Alcatraz, two Coast Guard boats, like the one pictured, flanked our ferry and followed us to the dock. It got a lot of people's attention and in some cases worried the tourists. Not only do most of these people dislike our international policy and think we are a bunch of cowboys, but in case you cannot tell from the picture, those are very large MACHINE GUNS on the bow and stern.

When the crew of our boat were asked what was going on, they told us the Coast Guard has been doing this a lot recently as a form of running exercises and training new cadets.

Well that clears everything up. After the city spend millions to attract tourists, we surround them with our heavily armed forces as they take the FERRY from one tourst trap to another. We are cowboys.

Oh yeah, I made a movie of them flanking our boat. Notice how everyone on the deck is watching our armed escort.

Post 100!

Actually, this is post 103. I didn't realize I had passed the century mark until it was too late. I was going to do a "best of" section with some links to old posts but then the 103 post just doesn't have the same ring as the HUNDREDTH POST! So here are some stats instead.

- Started Friday April 15, 2004.
- The site was moved to blog.kempmullaney.com on Wednesday, the 24th of May, 2004. (this is when I started tracking.)
- There have been 900 pageviews since then.
- 23% of the traffic comes from Macs. The rest are Windows XP, 2000 and 98 (98?!?)
- For the last six days in May, you generated 144 pageviews.
- The busiest whole month was June with 400 pageviews.

I am not get any ad revenue from this, so I am keepin' it real. No corporate sponsors here. Nope. Not allowing the man to own me. I am on my own. Not making a dime. Zero. Nada. Zip. Just an act of love here.

Or a desperate cry for attention.

Have I mentioned it is hot out here?

hades
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

The highlight of my day

Photo_08
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

It is sad that two bags of free bagels in kitchen constitute the highlight of my day? (at least the pre-5PM-weekend-exodus portion of the day.)

Italian Peepshow

Italian Peepshow
Originally uploaded by MisterEric.

Another picture that speaks volumes. Check out this collection of unfortunate childrens' books titles - ALL OF THEM ARE REAL!.

By the way this is on Flickr and if any of you are looking for a new place to post your pics to share them, I HIGHLY suggest your try Flickr. Check them out here.

USA - meet the world

USA - meet the world
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

By taking data from Amnesty International and the UNO, artist Icaro Doria has applied new meanings to flags of the world. For the US

- Red Stripes represent people for the war in Iraq
- White Stripes are people against the war in Iraq, and
- Blue represents Americans who do not know where Iraq is.

Take a look at Icaro's other flags here.

Play with Dog Poo, Win Cash Prizes!

Poo on a stick
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Insert stick into poo. Spray poo with liquid nitrogen to harden. Throw poo away (or at friends).

"The D&AD Student of the Year Award 2005 was won by a team of talented students from China. They are WeiWei He, Chuan Shi and Wen Ying Lu studying at Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design, who won with their excellent work for Dog Poo Spray in Product Design & Innovation, sponsored by British Aerosol Manufacturers' Association."

Garrick Hamm, D&AD Education Chairman adds: "I always hope to come away from student judging with the names of a couple of new, exciting creatives, or a killer idea to share with the rest of my studio -– but nothing prepared me for dog shit! Not only was this a clever, environmentally useful idea but it was extremely well thought through and the execution was slicker than an Italian racing driver. If these creatives haven't got jobs by the end of the summer, please send me an email...but I have a funny feeling they will be busy."

Read more here.

"Eat, Drink and Be Merry!"

Tix
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Say what you want about my musical tastes, but my Dave Matthews Band tickets came today.

SBC Park

Aug 12 - Row 4
Aug 13 - Row 30

My guest for the Friday show has been selected, but Saturday it still open. I will be entertaining all submissions as to why you should attend the concert with me. Please keep submissions concise and make all bribes as explicit as possible.

Ashhole

Ashhole
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Not only is it fun to say, but it is functional!

Keep your next party clean and prevent that really drunk guy from mistakenly chugging a beer and butts coctail and regurgitating all your grocery store party platter food. With the Ashhole, you simply screw it on to an empty beer bottle and your ash disposal needs for the night have been met.

Thanks to Gizmodo.

BICYCLE

BICYCLE
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

I bought a bike. It goes really fast. Let's see who is last to Tiburon this weekend!

"Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties oh yeah!
Fat bottomed girls they’ll be riding today
So look out for those beauties oh yeah"
- Queen - "Bicycle Race"