Fan of DEATH, week 2

Friday I was unable to update the Fan of Death saga since I left the office at 2:30. The fan was still there. And today, the fan is still here. The office is still cold, the speed adjustment game I am paying with facilities is ongoing, and I am sure my well being is being damaged in some way. Sabotage thoughts?

UPDATE - THE FAN IS GONE!

I just got back from lunch and the fan has been removed and the door shut to the engineering lab. Now, the painful part. I asked a fellow citizen of cubeville what had happened. He said he asked a passing maintenance person how much longer the fan was going to be there. The technician grabbed his walkie talkie and within a minute had turned off the fan and shut the door. The AC had been fixed since the middle of last week and no one had bothered to do anything about the fan or the temp of the fourth floor.

I am so relieved it is gone that I cannot be mad that it wasn't taken down sooner. Now I have to re-acclimate myself to the beautiful sounds of silence.

Image Issues

There appears to be a problem with some of the images. They show up sporadically. I think I have fixed it for all future posts, but I do not think I can go back and repair the old posts. Thank you for those who wrote in to tell me about the problem.

UPDATE I have fixed as many of the images as I could. It appears some are lost forever. Flikr now hosts all of my images.

You have to COORDINATE!

You have to COORDINATE!
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Yay! Everything matches! It wasn't super easy to get the same wallpaper on four devices/computers running four operating systems. This is what happens when geeks get bored. Can you tell it is the last day before a three-day weekend?

Darth Tater - Revenge of the Spud

Darth Tater
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

What happens when a teacher asks his students to create puns based on the new Mr. Potato Head, Darth Tater?

"Luke, I am your farmer"
"Trust your peelings"
"Luke Frywalker"
"If only you knew the power of the deep fried"
"Luke, I have drained you well"

From Boing Boing.

Any other good Star Wars/Produce characters out there? I can only remember Space Balls characters, Yogurt and Pizza the Hut.

She Blinded Me with Viagra!

Feds Probe Viagra-Blindness Link

WIRED

"The FDA has 42 reports of the blindness, 38 among users of Viagra and four among users of Cialis. There were no cases reported among users of Levitra, the third impotence drug."

Well gang, it looks like Levitra is the drug of choice for when you need to get it up for three hours straight.

This sounds like beginning of a really bad super hero. "After taking an experimental impotence drug from and evil drug manufacturer, Bruce Kent was permanently blinded. In his rage he accidentally boinked his wife to death (we can't say what he did to his dog). His remaining senses heightened to super human levels, he now lives the life of a vigilante, out to revenge his wife (and dog) and bring down the evil drug manufacturer. He is, Dong Devil!"

Fan of Death - Day 4

I have come to like the Fan of Death. It's constant song is alluring and comforting, and I have come to miss it when I am not here. I must get one of these for my house.

REALLY - this thing is like sitting over the wing in a plane for 8 hours a day! It is a constant noise. I have started scheduling meetings that do not exist in conference rooms just so I can take my laptop and forward my calls to my cell just to get away from this thing.

There is a new game to play with the fan and the maintenance crew. Each morning I turn the fan down to med-low speed. Then throughout the day the maintenance crew and I play tag raising and lowering the fan speed.

I think the next game should be a test of what happens when various items 'hit the fan.'

We moved!

We moved? Okay, I moved, but it sounds more impressive if there is more than one person involved.

What does this mean? Well you all get a new URL to check and the name has dropped the '05. The only reason it had the '05 to begin with is that someone else on blogspot had taken just plain old 'unKempt.' Enjoy gang.

Fan of Death - Day 3

So the fan by my cube is the only one left in the office as we enter DAY 3. It will be over 80 today our here in the Badlands, but I know my office will be a nice cool 65 degrees. The question remains, by the time they get this fixed will I still have my hearing/sanity?

Check out the movie -

Fan of Death with audio

What does Apple think?

So in less than two years I have purchased two iBooks, two Powerbooks and a couple of iMacs using the discount that our parent company so generously offers us as a perk (actually it is the only perk I use.) So I ask, what does Apple think about this? Do they ever look at my account to see how much I have purchased? Is there any loyalty program or CRM system in place to alert them that 'I am a great customer,' or, and I hope this isn't the case, 'this guy is abusing his corporate discount?'

Apple customers have been long time advocates for their products. Sometimes it would be nice just to get a 'thank you.'

"I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen." - Lloyd Dobler

"I gave you five new customers and a lot of money, and you gave me a solid, virus-free OS, excellently designed hardware and an unsurpassed user-experience." - Sub Commander Kemp

What's next, no more Fish 'n Chips?

Bars in England are banning happy hour!

Pubs to Scrap Happy Hour Drinks

This is a sad day. The Union Jack should be at half mast.

But why? They claim it is an effort to curb binge drinking, but this looks more like price fixing. If all the bars eliminate happy hour, then the owners can charge full price all the time. Will this stop binge drinking? Well yes, for those who could only afford to drink during happy hour. For the rest of the patrons, they will just see an increased bar tab.

Who do we blame?

Committee chairman John Denham said: "The underlying problem is of too many people drinking heavily in small geographical areas."

Oh, I get it! They are blaming the fall of Imperialism! "If only we could have held on to the Empire then we would not be stuck on this tiny island where the only thing to do is drink and watch football. If we still had Africa we could drink and shoot lions, and if we still had America, we could drink and tax them for it. Now our only choice is to go to the Falkland Islands and drink with the sheep."

Fan of DEATH

Upon arriving at work yesterday, I noticed it was extraordinarily chilly in the office. "Great," I thought, "They are trying to calibrate the AC for the summer." I got to my floor and started walking to my desk when I heard it. It is one of those sounds you do not forget. To be honest the noise is rather non-distinctive as it is just rushing air, but it is there, consistently, relentlessly, and eternally wearing on your ear drums as some sort of audible water-torture.

The AC that powers our engineering labs is out. Somehow this is a separate system from the regular AC. When this happens all the computers in our labs are at risk of overheating, so they prop open all the lab doors, crank down the AC for the rest of the building and prop industrial fans in the doorways to increase circulation. What does that mean for me? I sit seven paces from one of these doors.

I tried wearing headphones, but the volume has to be so high to overcome the fan that I cannot hear my phone. I am in a cube, so I do not have a door to close. We are now starting Day 2 - Battle of the FAN vs. Kemp's sanity.

My Desk AKA Photo Studio

While looking at my other posts, I noticed that my desk has been the location for several photo shoots, so I decided to share my little home in Cubeville with the rest of you. Nice digs, eh?

Two year anniversary

So this June is the two year anniversary of my return to my job. Yay! Our parent company sent me a gift - This lovely leather portfolio. So is it ironic that the mission of our company is to replace pen and paper with laptops and PDAs? This is like Zippo handing out two sticks as a reward to their employees. "Great job selling lighters. Now go rub these together."

First pitch

Giants vs. Pirates. Nice seats, eh?

UPDATE:Too bad they lost 5 to 2. Still, in these seats you MUST watch the game or you might get hit by a foul ball. I love interactive entertainment!

Take it to the register

Take it to the register
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

I grew up in Florida.
+
I had a mullet
=
UNKEMPT, the band!
Central Flordia's Premier METALCORE!

http://www.unkemptmusic.com



(Thanks to Kathy for sending me this link!)

Rainbow Vomit

It is tough being me right now. I feel trapped between the Urban, Hipster Metrosexual of days past and the new Outdoor Adventurer of the upcoming camping season. The one good thing is that I get to buy a bunch of new stuff! If REI had stock, I would strongly suggest buying it.

Today, some of my new gear arrived and even I have to admit, it is BRIGHT. At least I know Search and Rescue teams won't have trouble finding me if I am lost in the woods. The question is would they be willing to land?

Hello Kitty

Photo_05
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

"Hmm, more rain. I know, I will use the new umbrella my roommate gave me. There it is in the blue sleeve."

So it wasn't until I was half way to BART and several stares later that I realized there was something printed on the umbrella.

The text "Celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the Humane Society, " was alternated with cartoon dogs and cats.

Oh yeah, I am feeling manly now.

Four Eyes - No Brain

Four Eyes
Originally uploaded by Sub Commander.

Damn, another pair of sunglasses gone. Well, I really liked those. I should replace them. Back to work today. Why don't my computer speakers work? Oh, there it is - the cable came loose under my desk. Hmm, why are my new sunglasses under my desk? I usually put them right... There. D'oh!